Because Christianity is bigger than Biblical manhood or Biblical womanhood (Blog of Retha Faurie)

Tim Challies just wrote an article “Why I am not an egalitarian” in which he, unsurprisingly, does not actually discuss egalitarian theology beyond a vague assertion of “I believe the position fails to withstand serious biblical scrutiny” and vaguely mentioning a few texts which he say is “challenges to the egalitarian position that [he] consider insurmountable.” Challies never actually mentions the egalitarian answers or why they fail.

His only other point is that complementarianism works in his marriage. One example of a complementarian marriage working does not mean complementarianism works. One example of a complementarian man being happy does not even mean it works for his wife.

But let us compare his assertion of how complementarianism work to his statement on what it is. Predictably, he defines complementarianism this way: Read the rest of this entry »

It’s funny you know, sometimes I receive messages from people telling me that I see what I want to see when I look at ancient texts and manuscripts of the Bible.

I can guarantee that when I went to a local seminary library to begin studying “women in the church,” I did not “want” to see that my Bible translation, my church, my pastor, my denomination were all badly mistaken. I was not at all prepared for the overt misogyny of some of our most influential theologians.

I was staggered to see how women have been treated throughout history by the church.

I’ll never forget the moment it suddenly occurred to me that the church has been oppressing, silencing and abusing women for centuries. I felt like I was having a heart-attack: dizzy, hot, searing chest pain that made me drop to my knees in the middle of the library aisle. I began to weep openly and beg God for mercy.

Seeing what I wanted to see?

No, I don’t think so.

– Quoted from Facebook.

When I found egalitarianism, I was confused between the soft complementarianism I always knew, and extreme patriarchy which I was finding on the Internet, and I prayed:

God, please show me the truth. I may have been wasting my life this far, teaching (other people’s) children about you as a single woman. You may want me to take a husband even though I know of no man I am interested in, and sleep with him whenever he say so and let him be my authority and raise his children. Tell me if that is your will for me. If I wasted my life this far, if your plan for me is very different, please tell me.

What God showed me when I started searching was much better than the soft complementarianism that I knew. It was also incomparably more exciting, just, logical and Christ-exalting than the drab legalistic patriarchy that I would have accepted, if God told me to do so.

When you found egalitarianism, was it what you wanted to see? Please tell me in the comments!

We have all heard it before: The party line of complementarians is that the woman’s role is just as important as the man’s role, only different. But when complementarian men talk to other complementarian men, they sing a different tune. Listen to Jason Allen, president of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, Mo.:

Biblical complementarity is not fundamentally about what opportunities women must forego but what responsibilities men must take up… Complementarianism is not fundamentally what women can do but about what men must do.”

148r31This message was given at the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood annual conference, April 11-12 this year.

Did you catch that? Complementarianism is not about what women must take up and what men must take up, what women must forego and what men must forego. It is not equally much about what what women can/ must do and what men can/ must do. That would, potentially, have been ‘complementary’, in the real sense of the word.

It is about what responsibilities men must take up, what men must do Read the rest of this entry »

This letter was written by an Internet friend of mine in the USA. She does not have her own blog and wants to remain anonymous.


An open letter to complementarians

woman-shadow111Thank you, Vision Forum and complementarians. Thank you for destroying my life and the lives of countless other women. Thank you for telling my sisters in Christ that our only worth is based on my ability to serve men. Thank you for teaching it is a sin for a woman to have a career, because you did not just ruin the lives of those in your movement, you stunted and hampered my growth because I felt guilty for going to college and living away from my parents. Thank you, complementarians, for turning the clock back in the church back to the 1850’s. Thank you for telling me my novels1 are sinful because they do not fit your gender roles.

Yes, thank you teaching me to hate men because your teaching give men all accountability and no responsibility. Thank you for telling me my crushes on famous men I do not even know in real life were the same as adultery . Thank you for telling me my heart is not whole because I’ve dated some men where the relationship did not end in marriage. Thank you for reinforcing the double sexual standard, allowing young men to ‘sow their wild oats’ but telling young women never to feel any affection for males. Thank you for teaching me being raped twice made me unfit to be a bride and I caused it by ‘dressing too slutty.’ Thank you for opening me up to demons because I believed God hated women. Thank you for making the USA, one of the most egal countries on Earth, once more a patriarchal society. Thank you for your rigid interpretations of Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Timothy 2:12. Thank you for teaching Christian men not to respect women. Thank you for your lies and your destruction of lives in the name of Jesus. Thank you for focusing on a non-issue when millions are dying without Christ. Yes, thank you very much! Read the rest of this entry »

Titus 2 keeping was what Jenny have done

called it The Godliest Lifestyle Under The Sun

On judgment day said the Lord Divine:

“My Word’s chapters are a-thousand-one-hundred-and-eighty-nine

Out of that number, Jenny, your score is one.”


A few of the tea-drinking, old-fashioned, pink-and pastel pictures you will find if you search for “Titus 2 womanhood”. You find nothing if you search for 1 Thes. 5:17 womanhood, or Mat. 28:18-20 womanhood, or Luke 10:27 womanhood...

A few of the tea-drinking, old-fashioned, pink-purple-and pastel pictures you will find if you search for “Titus 2 womanhood”. You find nothing if you search for 1 Thes. 5:17 womanhood, or Mat. 28:18-20 womanhood, or Luke 10:27 womanhood…


Note: Since Titus 2 keepers like “Jenny” actually lives by only 3 verses from Titus 2, (:3-5) and the Bible has approx. 31 000 verses, her score would be 3/31 000, or less than 0,01%

More important note: When God looks at a believer through the blood of Jesus, Read the rest of this entry »

Someone in the Facebook group Biblical Christian Egalitarians asked this question:

Hi friends. In a few weeks, I’m going to be the guest leader at a youth group, and I’ve been asked to present a biblical defense for women in all forms of ministry. I can give that lecture or preach that sermon, but I am ardently against just “talking at” adolescents. With that in mind, I am looking for some varied, creative methods for this session… I’m pondering some kind of ice breaker that requires group/teamwork, but where half of them aren’t allowed to speak or contribute to their team to demonstrate how silencing half of the church is counter-productive to our mission. Any ideas are welcome, especially if you’ve done them before with your own groups!


This got me brainstorming a few ideas for active learning to introduce egal topics to teens. Here are what my little brain came up with:


What happens when women have to be silent, when over half the church cannot give their knowledge to the rest? (An intro for an egalitarian lesson that include discussion of 1 Cor. 14:34-35 and 1 Timothy 2:)

a) Hide something, with some students seeing and some not. The seeing students may not say a word, or move from their chairs to lead the others to where the hidden thing is. They should try to indirectly influence the team nonetheless.

Even better if it is in two teams, looking for the same object. You try to influence your own team’s people to find it first.

(Not giving the chance to whisper may mean a rule that the looking-for-it people should stay a meter or more from the knowers, by a line you draw in the room. But work out such logistics by the nature of your room and situation)

Then discuss how it is not good for some in the church to be silent, showing that even the “women keep silent” are in a passage that repeatedly say all should bring speaking gifts to church, and it is good if all prophesy.

b) Another commenter to the question suggested charades, but the first person (a girl) to get a turn has to play the normal way, while the second (a boy) can just say the answer. Once again, the point is that if some cannot talk, their wisdom is hardly as likely to get passed on. It is a starting point for discussing the importance of using female gifts.


An intro for discussing the impracticality of gender roles:

Mark off different areas on a floor with curvy (not straight) lines. Play a form of soccer* or hockey* where, for the first point or two, everyone of a certain team has to stay in their “assigned role” area marked on the floor, but the other team not. That is very impractical. Then let them play another point or two the normal way.

Discuss: If God’s team limit people to certain boxes, regardless of where they actually will be able to use their talents, then we are not very effective in the fight against the darkness (the other team).

(*Since the point of such games is never about the difference between people who played a sport for years and those who never do, try to make it different from normal sport by different equipment: Hockey with pool noodles and a rolled-up ball of socks, or soccer with the inflated empty foil packet from boxed fruit juice/ boxed cheap wine is an example.)


An intro for a lesson on how the Bible could be misused.

Divide into the green team and the red team. (They don’t have to go anywhere for this one – they could just be the left and right half of your audience.) Tell each team that you will give them a clue to interpret the sentences you will give them. They should not show their clue to the other team. To the Reds, give a piece of paper: Red team should rule the world. To the greens, pass a paper saying: Green team should rule the world. (They read this and pass it among their team, but not to the other team.)

Give the statement:

1) Reds should help Greens.

Ask them if it means:

a) Reds should do the dirty work, Greens should tell them what to do.

b) Reds should help Greens by leading them to the truth.

2) Greens, raise children with love but be strict too.

a) Greens are the real authority figures over children – what they tell children count more than what Reds say.

b) Greens should stay at home looking after children while Reds make decisions over other things.

3) Everyone should work along with one another. Reds, work along with Greens. Greens, be willing to give things up for Reds.

a) Reds should work along by obeying, Green should be nice while telling Reds what to do.

b) Reds should consider Greens, but they are in charge and could tell Greens what to give up.


Red team will consistently choose b), and Green team a). Discuss why: It happened because of the paper that gave them a preconcieved notion of how to read the messages. There are similar messages in the Bible (Genesis 2:18,20 is similar to statement 1; Eph 6:4 is similar to statement 2); Eph 5:21-30 is similar to statement 3). In a world that believed – and still in many ways believe – the Green team notion (Greens/ men should rule) people have read the Bible and saw it as an excuse for male rule.


Other thoughts:

My experience is in teaching children, with some knowledge of what kind of curriculum Sunday School teachers for teens like. But teaching 13- or 15-year olds cannot be completely different from teaching 10- or 12-year olds. As such, take this from whom it comes:
Remember that teens have a short concentration span. When you have one large time block, two hours for example, I suggest several “sessions” of certainly no longer than 40 minutes each – and that is already long. Break it up between sessions by at least inserting things like a lesson-related game in between/ A new chance to move, a new attention-getter/ intro into the topic. Plus let them participate by asking them questions and letting them look up things in the Bible, letting them discuss in groups and report back…

Since we are on the topic of teaching teens egalitarianism, I will mention that CBE has teen curriculum, named “Called Out”. You may be interested.

male female paper strip


Premise 1: Jesus want God’s kingdom to come on earth as in heaven. (Mat 6:9-10)

Premise 2: Even complementarians admit that before God (in heaven), men and women Read the rest of this entry »

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