I wish it wasn’t true. I already know from sites like A Cry for Justice that the church often gives terrible advice to abuse victims. I don’t want to believe Samantha Field is entirely right when claiming that purity culture(1) Christians don’t care about or teach the importance of consent. I’ve read stories of “Christian” leaders telling women to repent for being raped. I already mentioned some abuse-condoning statements by Paige Patterson and Bruce Ware on this blog.
But evidence keeps on mounting:
Dannah K. Gresh (also the writer of “And the Bride Wore White”, who has sold more than 470,000 books, leaders guides, and curriculum bearing the message of purity) and Dr. Juli Slattery (a psychologist formerly from Focus on the Family) wrote a new book to give a Christian response to “50 Shades of Grey” and erotica like it, and talk about how to be sexual and spiritual at the same time. The topic of “Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart”certainly has merit. But their book also gives evidence of followers of Jesus not caring or thinking about intimate partner abuse – while touching on topics which certainly relates to it. Read the rest of this entry »
John Piper say:
… true manhood inclines a man to fight to protect women…
Of course, he means manhood as a gender role, manhood as defined by the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. We all know that not all men “fight to protect women.” In fact, statistics say that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.*
Neither protectors of women nor violators of women could call themselves the example of what men as a group are really like. Both only show what men like them are like. Some men are protectors, but we have women who protect men in a variety of ways, from being in the military, through protecting his interests by being the one who remembers things like paying the bills, to lying to protect a criminal boyfriend from a jail sentence.
Piper is, of course, not the only guy in his group of thinkers to speak of how men relate to women. Here we have the words of Bruce Ware: Read the rest of this entry »
I seldom agree with the “Biblical manhood and womanhood” people, but the Bible actually has one very good treatise on Biblical manhood. This passage does give the gender of the described (hypothetical) person, and describes what this strong provider does:
> He provides well not only for his family, but also for his servants. He even helps the poor.
> He is respected by his wife and children, and also respected among the leaders of his community.
> His wife trusts him, and he does her good. He don’t worry about the future, or bad weather, as his family has what they need.
> He works hard, with several business ventures. He is secure enough not to worry about the future.
> He is dignified and strong.
> He gives his spouse good things. His advice is wise. He looks after his household well, even though he is sometimes far away.
> He and his whole family is well-dressed.
Read the rest of this entry »
A strawman is when you make a weak version of your opponent’s arguments, so you can put them down more easily. But really, sometimes “Christian” male-on-top hierarchists don’t need anyone else to make them look ridiculous. Sometimes, I dare say, they seem to be DIY enthusiasts for ridicule.
Like when Owen Strachan said a “boy” bear with a baby doll in a children’s show is evidence of “our culture undoing itself at the very foundations.” “What? A boy playing with a doll baby? Are you not worried that one day he might turn out … a loving father???” I am sure if Baby bear pretended to be a pirate – a group known for looting, rape and murder – Owen Strachan would not have said a word.
The newest (how much do you bet me that it won’t be that for long?) example of their complete out-of-touch silliness is a piece on how complementarian Olympic skating is: Read the rest of this entry »
Today, I want to talk to you about weak vessels. I bet you cannot guess which verse I will use first. Come on, take a guess before you scroll down.
Read the rest of this entry »
Eve was made as the k’negdo of Adam. That is the Hebrew translated to old English Bibles with “meet for him”, to some English Bibles with “suitable” and to my Afrikaans Bible with a word that literally means “his equal.” (Gen 2:18 and :20)
This refers to “eye to eye equality”, says Loren Cunningham, or literally, according to another scholar, nose against nose. Is it a coincidence that people can look each other in the eye as equals during sexual intimacy? Read the rest of this entry »
A respected Internet friend recently told me that it was hard to read my previous blog post, with its references to BDSM. This is not the first ugly topic on this blog either – there are references to marital rape, child abuse, and adult daughters calling themselves possessions of their father, all on this blog.
I wish my blogging could be all sunshine and light, glorifying Jesus and proclaiming his good plans. I get depressed about all the ugliness too. I wish I could do the “The great philosophy – and Power – behind the egalitarian world view” header in my previous post, without the “Two groups, one Orwellian message” header. Read the rest of this entry »