I was twelve when I read it in a little Bible study book for children:
God had a reason for making you! He had a reason for giving you the talents you have! He had a reason for making you a boy/ girl!
Pray: Tell God how you feel about how He made you.
And I prayed: Lord, thank you for how you made me. Thank you for my talents. Help me to use them for your honor. But Lord, I don’t know why you made me a girl. Please show me why you wanted me female?
The truth is, it is more than 2 decades later and I still do not know. The Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood say that gender roles should find an echo in every human heart, but I have a human heart, and it finds no echo in mine. (I am heterosexual, and care deeply about men, in case you wondered.)
So, here is my question to gender role proponents: As a single adult woman who love God and will most likely not marry, what is my gender role? Please quote the appropriate Bible verses when you answer.
Here are a few answers that do not apply:
Not applicable #1) Wives should submit to their husbands.
I do not have a husband, and the Bible is clear not everybody is called to have one.
Not applicable #2) Love your children.
a) I have no children.
b) If you call that a gender role, you proclaim fathers should not love children.
Not applicable #3) Take care of your household.
a) Hardly anyone ever comes to my little rented apartment. When I see friends, it is elsewhere. Caring for my home is the most self-centered thing I do.
b) If you call cleaning and cooking and bills my gender role, you say a male bachelor should not take care of his home.
Not applicable #4) Older women (or women elders?) should teach other women to submit to husbands, to love children, and take care of households.
a) I am not an “older woman.”
b) I cannot teach what I do not have experience of. I never had a husband or children.
c) I should preach what I do not practice? Is the whole purpose of Christian singleness for women to talk the walk instead of walking it?
d) Are you saying no man should ever preach submission to women, that it is a female gender role?
Not applicable #5) Your gender role is to not preach or teach men:
Erm, “not teaching” is no gender role, like “you did not get the part” from a casting director is not the name of a part that should be played. Teaching men is a role that, if gender role ideas are right, I do not have.
Not applicable #6) You should be a helper to [man]
a) To which man, and where in the Bible do you get that I should be that man’s helper?
b) Helper, as the Bible use the word, is not an assistant following orders, but a word used mostly for God. It is a strong aide, a rescuer, a political ally. If that is a gender role, is no man supposed to use his strength to help, to rescue or be an ally of any other man or woman?
Now, this is supposed to be easy: God made the genders to live their defined roles, say gender role proponents. These roles should find an echo in every human heart. If so, tell me my gender role as an unmarried woman who want to live as God tells me.
If there is no answer, then God did not create all humans to fulfill a gender role. And if I understand 1 Cor 7:34 right, gender related things were actually regarded as a distraction from the things of God, not as the things of God.