I have never read Mary Kassian’s “The feminist mistake”, but I have read this quote from it:
“women grow up thinking that the essense of womanhood is the exercise of personal power – including sexual power.”
Women do not grow up thinking they are womanly when they exercise power. Today’s allegedly free young women in the Western world are Google-ing terms like “what should I do if my boyfriend wants to choke me?” Even when a man wants to do something that could actually kill them, they do not feel they should simply refuse and leave him. They think that it is unattractive for them to have or use the personal sexual power of “no, I don’t want to do it.”
Young women today are told it is wrong (“kink-shaming”) to shame sadistic men. Some men have fantasies of hitting women, treating them as slaves and objects and calling them sexual slurs. According to modern society, these men cannot be criticized for acting out those fantasies, as long as they get the women involved to not refuse.
Many teenage girls nowadays do anal sex – not because they like to do it, but because they believe that they, as girls, should submit to what boyfriends want. Christian culture, despite its insistence on female virginity, also often say that women are supposed to submit to men. Mary Kassian herself contributes to the Christian™ belief in female submission.
What men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk, and Kassian think women believe that sexual power is the essence of womanhood?
In this world where sexual violence is constantly part of the reasoning and decision making of women (we ask “will I be safe if I do this?”), Kassian not only tells us that “women grow up thinking that the essense of womanhood is the exercise of personal power”, she tells us that sex is God’s picture of how He relates to us, something we would have a hard time to understand otherwise.
You know what, Mary Kassian?
Part of the essence of womanhood, since the fall, is to feel fear of being overpowered and forced into things that harms our deepest being. And in a world where men want to choke, hit, rape or do other acts that give sadistic men pleasure, sex is really a terrible symbol of how God relates to us. Feminists don’t pretend we live in a world where womanhood means exercising power over others. Instead, we feminists work towards a world where we women don’t have to be so afraid of being overpowered, where women’s voices matter as much as men’s. From a Christian perspective, we want a world in accordance with the Jesus who wants us to care for (those seen as) the least, a world that lives by His teachings about not lording it over others.
Dear reader of Kassian’s books or blog, can I make a suggestion to you? Try to read some Christian egalitarians for a while. You may find that we, unlike Mary Kassian, actually speak to real-life situations as they happen on this planet.
A fan of Kassian could say that I took one sentence “out of context” from a book I did not read. If so, they are welcome to provide a context by which we could really say that today’s women see womanhood and sexuality more as a power they have than as a vulnerability. I can’t conceive how her statement can possibly be true.