Because Christianity is bigger than Biblical manhood or Biblical womanhood (Blog of Retha Faurie)

Posts tagged ‘spousal abuse’

15 reasons why “Christian domestic discipline” is a terrible, anti-Christian idea

(My regular readers certainly won’t need the teachings in this blog post. This post is for those who reach this blog via search engines. Please, regulars, be my fellow teachers here. Comment to improve on what is said here and to add to it.)

There is actually a thing called “Christian Domestic Discipline”, in which husbands hit their wives when the wife allegedly does wrong, and twist the Bible to call it a Christian thing to do. (Sources here and here.) Of course, this is a covert movement, and the practitioners “convert” others to their activities in secret.

According to a commenter on that blog, Anne Garbozi Evans,

…my research has shown, while it may very well be more frequently popping up in patriarchal circles, it is by no means limited to those congregations. The only type of congregations that all of these wife-spanking people refused to go to were ones that ordained female pastors and taught egalitarianism. Any church that taught complementarianism was fair game for them to attend: their words not mine… many said they secretly suspected they weren’t the only ones to practice wife-spanking. They also heavily discussed how to bring up the topic of wife-spanking to your friend so as to “evangelize” them on the topic. They esp. thought they had a moral duty to tell any friends going through a divorce about wife-spanking as a way to “save their marriages.”


Defending men at all costs is too expensive

First story: Tom made a long comment trying to argue for male rule, starting with acting as if there is an “ought” in the Genesis 3:16 prediction, incorrectly equating submission to obedience, etc.

Charis answers with among others:

“…Tom, Your wife will be back after she tries beating her head against that brick wall for awhile …”

Lime Chip said to Charis:

Have you been touched by the hand of God? It doesn’t sound like it for you to make such statements like “Tom, Your wife will be back after she tries beating her head against that brick wall for awhile…”

A woman of God, a Godly woman would never speak in such tones she would learn to humble herself. It does not matter whether it was five years of abuse or thirty.”

In other words, Godly women will, according to Lime Chip, never speak up for another person against abuse, even after thirty years of abuse. Whatever Tom does (and I do not imply he is an abuser, Lime Chip phrased it in terms of abuse), he should not hear his behavior affects his wife. Reproaching Tom is wrong, but reproaching Charis for reproaching a male, is right.

A godly person wil never speak up against abuse? There is nothing Godly about allowing someone to be abused and standing by, doing nothing. Christ came to set free the captives, and to show justice and mercy. Real religion is to help “widows and orphans” – shorthand for those who cannot help themselves.

Second story: On a self-admitted Biblical Womanhood blog, the blogger, Laura, said:

“I too narrowly defend women; that being, women as God intended (those who model Proverbs 31 and true femininity). I defend men, who are still more or less, the way God intended. The male reputation in the culture needs to be defended at all costs”

According to Laura at the time, a Godly women should not ask what party is being unjustly treated – the male reputation should always be defended at all cost. At the cost of truth? At the cost of justice? (In her defense, she admits to growing and learning, but she is not the only one who thought/ thinks that.) She would defend a “Proverbs 31 woman” (a strong wife who is respected in marriage, a succesful businesswoman, with servants, wise and with few worries.) Those people she will defend are generally the strongest people in society, who need defense the least. Children, disrespected women and the poor and unwise are more likely to need defense.
What if her daughter gets molested? The molester will be male, and she claims to defends the male reputation at all cost, presumably even at the cost of her child’s well-being. Her underage, unmarried daughter will not be a Proverbs 31 women (yet, anyway). Can any child be safe with people like this?

Biblical womanhood -some forms of it at least – may say “Always be nice to males. Even abusive males. Never defend anyone against a man.”

But Christianity, in imitation of Christ, say: “Seek justice. Defend the weak. Speak the truth, in love. Love for God, love for the oppressed who need to be saved. Do not claim to speak in love when you mince words to be gentle to oppressors. I, Jesus, loved my people by calling those who lay heavy yokes on them a brood of vipers and whitewashed sepulchers full of dead bones.”

LaCigol and the pastor

One day,LaCigol watches a YouTube clip by a famous pastor. The pastor was asked what a wife should do when her husband abuse her. He answered that a wife should submit to abuse(1), that husbands turn abusive because their wives are not submitting(2), and if a wife is killed while submitting to abuse, it will be to God’s glory.(3)

LaCigol goes to the pastor, and introduces himself as a Bible teacher. The two of them get talking. The pastor likes what LaCigol say, and LaCigol pretends to like what the pastor say. “So”, ask LaCigol, “just to make sure our doctrine line up, what would you say is the most important reason why wives have to submit to their husbands?”

The pastor was ready with his answer: “Because the husband-wife relationship is a mirror image of the relationship between Christ and the church. Wifes should submit to show the world how the church submit to Christ. But surely you know that?”

“Of course,” agreed LaCigol. “I wanted to make sure we agree on this.” Before the end of the conversation, LaCigol was asked to preach in the pastor’s church the next Sunday. (more…)

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