Equal, but?

“In complementarianism, men and women are equal, but with different roles.”

“So, they have equal say, but each is seen as the expert, or authority, on a different set of topics?”

“No, men have authority. Men should lead, but they are equal spiritually.”

“Okay, spiritual equality means that even though men should lead, they have equal say at church?”

“No, women could not be a pastor, or elder, or teach men at church. They have to remain quiet.”

“So, spiritual equality only means equal standing and responsibility before God?”

“No, husbands have to take responsibility for their wives before God. That is what ‘spiritual leader’ means.”

“Their equality is in society, then? Men and women can equally much excell in careers, be bosses at work, in politics, etc.?”

“No. It somehow does not sit well with men to work under a woman. Men are designed to lead. The home is the woman’s sphere, society is the male sphere.”

“So, society is where men lead, the home where women lead?”

“No. The man is the head of the home, the woman has to obey him.”

“How is this equality?”

“You probably think equality means sameness! If you do not believe in God-given gender roles, question God and not me.”

Please, Christians who support male lead, tell me in what ways you believe in equality. Don’t tell me of “equal, but …” – and then give a lot of attention to explaining the part after “but.”
Stop speaking behind our but(t)s! Tell me of the equality part, the part before the “but”. What practical outworkings does equality has in your view? How should a Christian who believe in gender hierarchy support equality between the sexes?