It’s funny you know, sometimes I receive messages from people telling me that I see what I want to see when I look at ancient texts and manuscripts of the Bible.
I can guarantee that when I went to a local seminary library to begin studying “women in the church,” I did not “want” to see that my Bible translation, my church, my pastor, my denomination were all badly mistaken. I was not at all prepared for the overt misogyny of some of our most influential theologians.
I was staggered to see how women have been treated throughout history by the church.
I’ll never forget the moment it suddenly occurred to me that the church has been oppressing, silencing and abusing women for centuries. I felt like I was having a heart-attack: dizzy, hot, searing chest pain that made me drop to my knees in the middle of the library aisle. I began to weep openly and beg God for mercy.
Seeing what I wanted to see?
No, I don’t think so.
– Quoted from Facebook.
When I found egalitarianism, I was confused between the soft complementarianism I always knew, and extreme patriarchy which I was finding on the Internet, and I prayed:
God, please show me the truth. I may have been wasting my life this far, teaching (other people’s) children about you as a single woman. You may want me to take a husband even though I know of no man I am interested in, and sleep with him whenever he say so and let him be my authority and raise his children. Tell me if that is your will for me. If I wasted my life this far, if your plan for me is very different, please tell me.
What God showed me when I started searching was much better than the soft complementarianism that I knew. It was also incomparably more exciting, just, logical and Christ-exalting than the drab legalistic patriarchy that I would have accepted, if God told me to do so.
When you found egalitarianism, was it what you wanted to see? Please tell me in the comments!