(Note: This -secular – article does not condone all choices women make. It condemns the attitude that women should always be blamed, whatever happens to them.)
If you don’t go out on a date with the creepy guy who ask you out, men say you are rude. Some even say you are to blame if his acute sense of rejection motivates him to start a shooting spree.
If you do go out on a date with the creep and he rapes you, they say you should have sent out stronger “no” signals: Your clothing, your behaviour, your going on a date with him, means you provoked him.
If you go out on a date but is just platonically friendly while on the date, they say you are one of those dreaded friendzoning girls.
If you sleep with him, they say you are a sl*t – and men do not want to marry sl*ts, they say.
Let’s face it: Today’s culture is porn-saturated. Not with material that shows men and women enjoying each other, but with cruel material that shows physical and verbal violence against mostly women. If your porn-saturated boyfriend or husband pressures you to do something painful or degrading, and you do not allow it, they say your unwillingness means you are “unliberated” with too many “hang-ups” and this is the reason he is cheating on you.
If your porn-saturated boyfriend or husband pressures you to do something painful or degrading, and you allow it, they say you should get no sympathy with your pain because you consented.
If you use birth control, they say it is evidence of how you want to sleep around – you even plan for it.
If you do not use birth control and get pregnant, they say it is your fault for being so stupid.
If you abort, they say you are a murderer.
If you stay single and get welfare to help provide for the child, they say you are a moocher who planned to get pregnant for money.
If you stay single/ divorce and get the father to pay child support, they also say you are a moocher who planned to get pregnant for money.
If you stay single and raise your children by your own work – they say you are a bad mother to not be at home with your children.
If you actually marry a dangerous and violent/ unemployed/ alcoholic/ [fill-in-the-blanks-bad-character-attribute] man, even because he is the father of your child, they say you are an idiot who should have chosen better.
If you file for divorce, they say it is you who rips families apart – not the dangerous and violent/ unemployed/ alcoholic/ [fill-in-the-blanks-bad-character-attribute] man who was a bad partner but did not file for divorce. (Numerous Internet sources claim women file for two thirds of divorces – in the USA? In the Western world? Where? -, so according to these sources women are mostly to blame for divorce.)
In short, patriarchy means that whatever happens, women get blamed.