Because Christianity is bigger than Biblical manhood or Biblical womanhood (Blog of Retha Faurie)

Pick up artist game proponents have 16 Commandments of P**n (Warning: This site has very crude adult content, and I link to it not because I agree), ideas they call good for picking up women. I would suggest the majority of these are not suitable for Christians, although a few “Christian” (with or without quotation marks) men claim otherwise. But to make the point, we will need to look at the commandments one by one. The small numbers in brackets (I – XVI) will correspond to the commandment number.

These parts are not Christian:

The Bible calls men to get an example from Jesus how they should love. (Eph 5:25 tells men to love- not lead – like Jesus). So, I will look, in several points, if Jesus loves the way game proposes.

Jesus was willing to say “I love you” first (I). (1Jn 4:19) He did not make us jealous (II), in order that we should love Him. He did not give us less than we give back(V) – He gave us more than we could ever have to give! He does not keep us guessing about his passion(VI). In keep them guessing it is said that:

A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly.

Jesus does not promise financial or family security – he honestly speaks of the exact opposite (Mat 8:20; Mat 10:35) – but we can be sure of his passion. He does not punish swiftly either. (Joh 3:17)

Jesus does not keep two in the kitty(VII): “hey. if humanity do not like me there is always other species…” Keeping two in the kitty is the probable reason why an alpha marriage is so likely to end in divorce.

Christians should be willing to go and make peace when someone is angry with us, to confess our sins honestly(VIII). (Jas 5:16)

Ignore her beauty (X) could connect with several statements in the Bible, but not how it is meant here. The Commandments of P*** say that you should get so used to outward beauty, and sleep with so many attractive women, that you do not give beautiful women their way. The Bible say that outward beauty should not be a priority. No gamer wants to follow the Bible on that!

Irrational self-confidence (XI) is one of those things that sensible women laugh at behind a man’s back. A certain amount of confidence is good. The Bible says, after all, that the righteous are bold as lions. (Prov 28:1) We, male and female, know we can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. (Php 4:13) But irrational confidence, all aimed at self and not the power of God, is not suitable for a Christian.

If a Christian man tries to get the attention of a woman he may or may not marry, and he errs on the side of too much boldness(XIII), in the way it is explained in the article, it will tell the Christian woman (if she is anything like me, that is) that he only wants one thing, and that is not adherence to Christian values. In marriage, I would imagine it probably depends on the woman on which side he could rather err on. Even in marriage, I hear, some women feel devalued because it feels like he only wants her for one thing, that nothing else matters.

Never be afraid to lose her(XVI) says that you should be able to (easily, is implied) walk away from her or let her leave, and you should love yourself more than her. Jesus say you should love your wife as your own body. If your body leaves your head, it is fatally bad. Seeing divorce as easy is wrong for both sexes, and not a Christian attitude.

The writer calls it commandments and ends his rules with:

(From) Your Lord and King

As such, the gaming rules even breaks the second commandment:

Deu 5:7  Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

These parts probably do have something to say to Christians:

There are a few things in these rules which are appropriate for Christian men. But these are not appropriate because the rules of game gets them half-right. They are appropriate because they are from God.

You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority (III)

Jesus say we should love the Lord with all our heart, soul, strength and mind, and others as ourselves. (Mat 22:37-38) Men and women should make God their highest priority, and care about spouses as much as about themselves. But I still did not agree with the “16 Commandments of poon”, as the writers of it does not believe women should put a higher priority on their mission than on men. A Christian version will be: Both of you shall make God your highest mission. And love each other as you love yourself.

Don’t play by her rules (IV) and Maintain your state control (XV) are two ways of saying the same thing.

This is partially true for both genders: When your spouse is demanding and moody, neither a man nor a woman should allow a spouse to walk over them. We all have souls that are our saboteurs sometimes, and need a strong pillar. (That could be part of what a help meet for him is meant to be when the words are used in Genesis.) The man and woman should be strong for each other, giving in to needs and not bad moods. On the other hand, listen to what your partner would enjoy, and care about it.

(Incidentally, my father is more moody than my mother. My father’s personality and my parent’s relationship both improved when she learned to stand up to him, to be his strength and not go along with his moods.)

Connect with her emotions (IX); Make sure she enjoys having intercourse with you(XIV); and Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses(XII) are the only things I cannot disagree with in any manner.

IX and XIV are ways of doing what she likes. IX also counts as a way of submitting to and accepting your woman’s way of thinking.

Point IX sort of contradict points I, IV, VI and VIII, and point XIV contradicts points III, IV and V. In short, the most believable points in these commandments says to care about what a woman wants and feels. (The least believable ones say the opposite.) That is completely compatible with the Christian view of loving others as yourself, and loving your wife as you love you body. (Eph 5:28) Eph 5:28 imply that her bedroom desires should be as important to you as your own, so does 1 Cor 7:4.

Maximizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses is wise for any human to do, regardless of what they want out of life. In Christian language it is called “using your gifts.” It is less particular to pick up artist game than any other rule among the 16, and you don’t need the game rules to know it.

As you can see from these points of agreement, I believe in submission, as a part of loving others as we love ourselves. We all give in to our own needs and wants. Submission is good for Christians, but in the same way we should have self control for our bad whims, we should not submit to the bad whims of our partners. Somehow even this set of rules, for all it’s flaws, tells men not to submit to selfish moods, but to care about a partner’s emotions and at least one of her needs. It is equally true for women.

But Christian men following game to make marriage work, are like cooks following a fudge recipe to make lasagne. It won’t work. The recipe was not written for that. Men can almost double their chance of marrying, and multiply their chances of a lasting marriage by 8, by being beta males (men who do not sleep around).

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Comments on: "Marriage is not a game, Part 2: Should a married Christian man value game techniques?" (1)

  1. I find the whole thing really creepy. The women is not a person, but an object to be won and held. Even “maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses” seems wrong to me. I would say, “be honest with yourself and her about your strengths and weaknesses.”

    Like

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