Because Christianity is bigger than Biblical manhood or Biblical womanhood (Blog of Retha Faurie)

LaCigol and the pastor

One day,LaCigol watches a YouTube clip by a famous pastor. The pastor was asked what a wife should do when her husband abuse her. He answered that a wife should submit to abuse(1), that husbands turn abusive because their wives are not submitting(2), and if a wife is killed while submitting to abuse, it will be to God’s glory.(3)

LaCigol goes to the pastor, and introduces himself as a Bible teacher. The two of them get talking. The pastor likes what LaCigol say, and LaCigol pretends to like what the pastor say. “So”, ask LaCigol, “just to make sure our doctrine line up, what would you say is the most important reason why wives have to submit to their husbands?”

The pastor was ready with his answer: “Because the husband-wife relationship is a mirror image of the relationship between Christ and the church. Wifes should submit to show the world how the church submit to Christ. But surely you know that?”

“Of course,” agreed LaCigol. “I wanted to make sure we agree on this.” Before the end of the conversation, LaCigol was asked to preach in the pastor’s church the next Sunday.

When Sunday came, LaCigol preached:

“Christ is unjust and uncaring, sometimes even abusive. So it is up to us humans to take the first step. We can turn him into a loving Christ if we just submit to his abuse hard enough. And if Christ keep abusing, then we should just be more obedient. In fact, we have to pay the price for Christ’s sins, even be willing to die, to enable him to step up into his role…”

The people chased LaCigol out of church. The pastor was indignant: “How dare you spout such blasphemous rubbish in my church?”

“I’m only repeating what you said”, replied LaCigol.


Notes – the way this tie in with statements from actual pastors:

(1) “I had a woman who was in a church that I served, and she was being subject to some abuse, and I told her, … “ every evening I want you to get down by your bed just as he goes to sleep, …you just pray and ask God to intervene… Get ready because he may get a little more violent, you know, when he discovers this.” And sure enough, he did. She came to church one morning with both eyes black. And she was angry at me and at God and the world, for that matter. And she said, “I hope you’re happy.” And I said, “Yes ma’am, I am.” And I said, “I’m sorry about that, but I’m very happy … remember, when nobody else can help, God can… And in the meantime, you have to do what you can at home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him.” – Paige Patterson

(2) “The very wise and good plan of God, of male headship, is sought to be overturned as women … want instead to have their way, instead of submitting to their husbands … and their husbands on their part … now respond to that threat to their authority either by being abusive, which is, of course, one of the ways men can respond when their authority is challenged, or more commonly by becoming passive, acquiescing and simply not asserting the leadership they ought to as men in their homes and churches.” – Bruce Ware

(3) The authors of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse share the following testimony by a woman who sought counseling from her pastor regarding her abusive husband: “She told him (the pastor) about the fact that she had recently been strangled to unconsciousness by her husband and felt she needed to escape to safety. His response: ‘Stay with him and if he kills you, God will use that to draw him to himself.'”

Comments on: "LaCigol and the pastor" (8)

  1. I like the way you write LaCigol. What would you call that literary device? Sarcastic hyperbole? It makes the point brilliantly.


    • I don’t know what to call it, but LaCigol is a huge fan of Till Eulenspiegel. And his name is logical backwards.


    • The reasoning is reductio ad absurdum: A method of disproving a proposition by showing that its inevitable consequences would be absurd.


  2. What a foolish thing for Paige Patterson to say…. however, I believe Bruce Ware’s point is that abuse or passivity are the two natural responses of man to a controlling woman. He’s not throwing the blame on the woman, rather he is pointing out that it is the man’s fault for not fulfilling his position of authority in an honorable way.


    • I agree, it is nowhere close to as blatant as Paige Patterson.

      But it still is nowhere close to the equality that makes for happy marriages. He is basically saying: Things are supposed to go the man’s way, as opposed to the woman’s. Some men abuse and others go passive when it does not. It is clear, from his statements, that he does not see the man’s desire to control, to act as above his wife, as a form of borderline abuse.


  3. […] is in the Bible, is the kind of thing that drives this blog. If anyone gives hateful drivel like “When a husband is abusive, the wife should submit even if she gets killed“, he is to use the words of Jesus, “straining gnats and swallowing […]


  4. […] “Christian” leaders telling women to repent for being raped. I already mentioned some abuse-condoning statements by Paige Patterson and Bruce Ware on this […]


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