“It is the feminization of the church“, some experts claim. “The churches are run in a way that soothes female ears more than male ears, that caters more to women’s needs than men’s.”
That is a perfectly reasonable answer, but is it the whole truth? And it matters. God’s heart is for both males and females to love Him and live for Him.
According to this “feminization” theory, men don’t like singing love songs to God, flower arrangements in the church, emotional preaching, etc. And little more than the feminized men stay in churches, as those are the only ones not too upset with things like this.
Can this be the whole truth? King Solomon, for example, wrote and sung love songs, some of which are collected in the Bible as “Song of Songs”. His father, David, sang of God’s love and wrote Psalms. Neither of the two strikes me as effeminate. And today’s male, love-song-singing stars? Well, by what the tabloids write about some of them, it wouldn’t seem pansies are the only men who sing love songs.
It also seems that the more emotional churches tend to have more people- both male and female – than the less emotional ones. I may not be crazy about emotionalism, but emotional congregations grow in membership.
And does anyone seriously believe that flower arrangements in church keep men away?
Perhaps something else, way more foundational to the male mindset, is a big part of the reason. I suggest this because if the real cause of the illness is not diagnosed, there is little chance of curing the patient. (Our patient is the church; the symptom is a shortage of men.)
Sex may be the answer.
1. Men are very interested in sex.
2. The church says the sexual act belongs inside of marriage.
3: Current laws in many countries (divorce laws, custody laws, domestic violence laws) make it riskier than before for men to get married.
4. Today’s society frowns less on women who are willing to sleep around without marriage. Consequently, more women willingly sleep around.
When the church asks men to get married, they are asking them to do something risky, with many potential drawbacks. And the primary short-term benefit that men previously had by marrying, could be obtained easily without a wedding ring.
I humbly suggest the Christian view on sexual morality may be a bigger stumbling block for men than ever before, something they prefer not to heed. And this makes them believe that God’s laws are not relevant to the real world.
Is this the church’s fault? Probably not. The man’s fault? Largely. Society’s fault? Partly. Now, if this is true, what should the church do to get more men? Change men’s thinking? Change society? How?
PS Update: This link gives a more balanced view of church feminization than most proponents do.