Yes, I know: Most supporters of gender roles for Christian women are not half as blatant as this. But in a way, a page like this one exposes confusing ideas that the more crafty complementarians share, but will never express this way.
This is only one page of gender role-related messages to women, and it has so many contradictions. (Warning: Contents of link and quotes here may be triggering for those who experienced trauma because of hard complementarian ideas.) Everything quoted here will be from that page.
> “… A man’s main business is God; a woman’s main business is the man.” —Pastor Jack Hyles
“What is that truth? The truth that the spiritual life of a nation, city, town, school, church, or home never rises any higher than the spiritual life of women. When women sag morally and spiritually, men sag morally and spiritually… – Dr. R.G. Lee
Point A – women should put men first, they should be man-centered and not God-centered. If they do, they will obviously not have much of a spiritual life. Point B- if women do not have much of a spiritual life, having a human-centered life instead, the spiritual life of the nation, the city of the town will be no better than theirs.
Is that why patriarchal men seem so unspiritual and self-centered to me?
> The Bible plainly teaches that a woman should focus on inner beauty. 1st Peter 3:4, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” Most women are concerned about the size of their breasts, but God is concerned about the size of your heart. Your flesh will eventually rot, but your heart doesn’t have to be corrupted and can go with you to Heaven if you are saved.
> I made a mistake as a young pastor that I corrected later. I told a lady, when her husband told her not to go to church, “You just tell him you are going to church anyway. You are going to live for God.” I gave her unscriptural advice. You are to be to your husband what the church is to Christ—submissive, obedient.”
Women should focus on the inward, not the outward. Concern about man-pleasing things like breast size should be condemned. Women should focus on what their husband say. What if he wants her to focus on outward things like breast size?
> You’ll never be happy trying to be happy. You’ll never be satisfied trying to be satisfied. You’ll never be happy trying to make yourself happy. Happiness is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Some people say, “Boy if I could find that special person I’d be happy.” Yes, and that special person is Jesus! There’s not a person in this world who can meet the need of your soul like Jesus. A person may thrill your soul for a while, but only Jesus can satisfy your soul for all eternally.
> “Nothing is happy until it fulfills the purpose for which it was created by God … A man’s main business is God; a woman’s main business is the man.”
Should a woman find happiness in Jesus, or in man?
> A Woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her.
Didn’t they say her main business should be the man, while the man’s business should be God?
> “Her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life … Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” —Proverbs 31:10-12 and verse 28
> A Woman’s Place Is In The Home!
Proverbs 31 describes a working women, who do not stay at home when she buys a vineyard and plants it or goes afar to bring in food. If she stayed at home all the time, the leaders at the gates would have been unaware of her existence, they would not have praised her. It also describes other women who are not living at home with their families, but working in the house of the Proverbs 31 woman – The servant girls in :15.
> Ephesians 4:30-32, “And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
> The Snake That Poisons Everybody — GOSSIP
These two quotes agree: Gossip and speaking evil is bad. Judge for yourself if the following quotes contains any gossip, malice, or evil speaking:
> The American Medical Association and friends in the drug industry have relied upon their allies in the Food and Drug Administration to aggressively assault the advocates of natural treatment methods. They want to cut, burn and poison you for all the money they’re going to make, while natural remedies are burned and hidden from the public.
> The government thinks they own your children, and that they can play Russian-roulette with your children!
> How feminists dream of treating men: Picture of man on floor on a leash.
> Women don’t judge reasonably, but emotionally; so women are most cruel when they are in power,
> HollyWEIRD, San FranSICKO, CaliFORNICATION… why should God bless this filthy cesspool of iniquity?
> “I’m not in a relationship right now”… Oftentimes that’s merely a nice way of saying, “I have temporarily quit whoring around.”
> feminists … have a hidden agenda: they want to destroy the family.
> Make sure you attend a church that ONLY uses the KING JAMES BIBLE. A church that uses modern corrupt Bibles will be doctrinally corrupt, ecumenically apostate, and won’t teach door-to-door soulwinning.
Is it gossip to agree and speak along with the men who say these things? Or is it unsubmissive to not echo them?
Now we turn to advice:
> Church people will ruin your marriage faster than the heathens down at the local tavern.
The writer of this page is a church person, and his page is filled with marriage advice…
And here is the funniest one:
> How To Be A Better Wife: Put away all those marriage manuals, turn a deaf ear to all the advice from your favorite friends and speakers…
This is on a whole page that links to one piece after the other of advice on allegedly being a better wife? Ha, ha…
From laughing to the serious, I grieve for women who are caught up in the mixed messages of gender role proponents. It is impossible to follow the messages these women are getting. Their leaders are setting them up for failure.
Are gender role following women perhaps being set up for failure on purpose? If women who believe in male headship fail, they will need some leader to tell them how to follow the standards better. The more contradictory the standards, the more certain it is that everyone will fail in some part of it.